Hello, Kuting

I’m sad… Why? because i feel alone… Its not easy to hide in a facade na okay lahat kahit everything is falling apart, kailangan okay ka pa rin… A friend told me once na its okay to show your emotions, pag galit ka, malungkot or stressed!… I can’t… I have this notion that if you don’t show it, people won’t have a clue as to who or what’s inside…I’m trying to be a superwoman!… But right now, I want to scream at the top of my lungs and punch someone!… I wanna feel loved and appreciated… Wait! I think I’m asking for the impossible… Oh well… As always I’ll get by and move on… So many shit has happened in my life… All I can say is bring it on!

"What’s the problem?" I asked my friend… "I don’t know, it’s not working out… I’m not happy anymore"… "Damn! You don’t just give up on something just because you are not happy…." Then she told me her story, I was shocked!… I never thought that something "like that" existed… Here is her story: Her significant other is an asshole! Wait there’s more… Started when he stopped kissing her then got worst when making love became a routine for the guy… I even teased her, told her that she must have some physical defect or something… She gave me "the look"! She said that it came to a point that she was crying for help, i.e., having an eating disorder… She did blame herself and was loosing her senses when she realized that it’s not her but him… She has this theory that he is either of the following: gay/ having an affair/ lousy lay (I said c’mon… he does not even touch you!… like hello!)/ an alien with no sex drive whatsoever!… Seriously though, I’m concerned… Being in a relationship is not easy, it takes a lot of effort and that "area" should be the least of her worries… What can a friend do? What advice do I give?… I may be interested in sex therapy but my knowledge is not enough to answer her questions and doubts… Thus, I told her to hold on and talk to him, i.e., if she still wants to be in that relationship… I saw her last week; she then told me that its over!… Moral lesson: Sometimes when you have exerted all your efforts or resources and you feel that it is the end of the line, don’t waste your time trying to fix something that is broken, don’t stay in a relationship just because you have to or you need to, stay because you want to… I use to believe that sex cannot affect a relationship but then again… Sex plays a vital role in a relationship…It’s not just lust but a connection, a bond, an understanding and an expression… I should have given my friend this advice: Some women tend to pretend that sex is sacred, that men are more inclined and that it is a taboo for women to be agressive and sexually active… Reality is, some men just don’t have the zest to do it, reasons might be unknown, psychological, or even physiological but whatever shit it is… Women have also their needs, if he can’t satisfy you, then don’t settle for that piece of meat!…  The end!

Ohmygosh! It’s been ages since i last created a blog… What to write?… Hmmmm… Must think… Something nice, acceptable or adequate perhaps?… Hell no!… With all the shit happening lately… All i can say is what the fuck!?! I mean, going through life is not easy, you get shit everywhere… Come to think of it life is not fair, but you still make something out of it… Why?… I have no fucking idea!… So the point of this blog is… angst!… If you guys are wondering why, all I can say is… I’m only human and I have the right to express whatever shit I want to express!… Satisfied?… No?… Well, I’m just pouring out my sentiments, and if you can’t handle that then… Mind your own fucking business and get off my case!… Can’t believe I’m going to post this, oh well!

i’m sooo high right now… feel like i’ve taken a pound of maryjane… my mind is floating and cant gather my thoughts… stupid f$*@^)g medicines…. i’m always sleeping, sedated for that matter… question: why do "they" produce meds that make you float, i mean high?… answer: because that’s the only way to numb the pain… i think im getting old, with all the back pain im going through… stupid motor accident!… moral of the story… cant think of anything right now… must think straight… must type… must sleep… zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

naglagay ako ng blog para lang magka photo album… yun lang po… =)